this is seriously the best "arena" for me to brandish my swords and knives. and it's definitely the safest platform for me to do so.

like seriously, why can't you just understand? i'm not even asking you to do anything, you don't have to always assume that when i say something to you, i expect something in return from you. but i guess there's nothing i can do if you continue to misinterpret everything i do i suppose. must you think so badly of me each and every time?

ah oh well after this rant i'm just going to forget about everything and get on with life. i can safely cross my heart and say that for the past 1 or 2 weeks i've been more or less back to my normal self, and the things you say and do no longer make me feel sad, hurt or disappointed any longer, just resigned.

i can't believe that i actually foolishly thought that you considered me a friend. friends don't treat friends this way, do they?

anyhow school is already coming to an end, if you don't want to see me ever again, well you'll get your wish.

i guess after this huge merry go round, i've finally come to the conclusion i'd feel satisfied with. If you don't care about this friendship and would rather just kick it away with no thoughts (and yeah i just mean the thought itself, not the action) of reconcillation either now or in the future, why should i still cling on to it? it isn't worth it i suppose.

i know i'd never ever be able to hate you no matter what. but you probably do and there's nothing i can do about it. to you, i was probably an insignificant part of your life you just can't wait to kick away. you'd be able to do that very soon, as fast as i say ABC, and you won't even feel a thing.

so yeah, school's ending, exams are comingg. time to study.