....

sigh everything is finally sinking in and i feel so lost, i dont know what to do anymore.

i honestly dont want to retain, please don't let me retain. But judging by my mid year results it seems highly probable now. Maybe it's only a matter of time before i get that dreaded letter of expulsion or something. And its perhaps no coincidence that i've scored exactly the same as a current J1 retainee's previous mid years.

I've always been plagued by bad results ever since sec 3, and i should be kinda used to it by now. but the mere thought of promos is enough to freak me out, because being retained is such a big thing. it'd feel really sucky when relatives ask you about your A levels, only for you to reply that you're still in J1.

argh what the heck, why have i become so down. i need to stop these stupid pessimistic thoughts man. can't possibly go to school with a long face and infect all my friends with bad aura. :D need to get my butt up and be my crazy and happy self! after all, i can always look on the brighter side no matter how dim it may seem now. Like what cindy said, whats over liao jiu dont care liao, brood also no use.

haha PLUS, its not only 3 months left, there are STILL 3 months left..

........

*in hardworking mode/gear. dunno if it'll overcome my stupidity, but can always try!*