wei shen me wo men zuo shen me yong yuan dou shi cuo de, mei you yong de? wei shen me ni men suo shuo de zong shi dui de?

my sister overheard my mother's conversation with her cousin and related them to me a moment ago... all sorts of stuffs poured out.. things damning us, critisizing us.. she told her cousin that we were inactive and refuses to play any sports or anything and our sole purpose for joining library was because "got air con mah. so they want to sit down there relax and dun do anything lor. aiya they ah, not like your children like that so active and sporty." has it ever occurred to her that if we join any other CCA, she would be complaining too? i can already hear her saying:"why everyday also must stay out so late huh? u go where huh? go shopping isit? huh? waste time. stay at home and study lah! dun do all this you de mei you! " also, i've got this nagging memory of her being extremely unhappy when my sister and i told her that we qualified for the scrabble finals. she pulled a long face when we told her this news and muttered:
"useless things. i would rather u concentrate on your studies rather than all these." other people can praise their children. why can't u? is it really so difficult? everything we do is not good enough, anything we say are considered rubbish. before u complain to others about our being "inactive" why cant u just ask yourself, if we had any sporting activities to go to, what would u say? "what for? no. stay at home to study!" how ironic. my mother also claims that we watch tv everyday and often neglect our studies. fine, so what are those figures sitting at the table all day long with notes or textbooks in front of them then? she tells me to "beat your classmates" all the time, but i am not so competitive. what is the point of "beating" your classmates? she tells me that all the time that i am getting sick of it. she compares me to other people. she compares me with the good resulters and tells me i am not good enough. am i not studying hard enough? each time i try to take a break from all those stupid formulas and words, she tells me;"why are you so lazy?? whole day also sleep sleep sleep". goodness, it is just a break. relax, will u? it's just so... contrasting. some of my classmates in school tell me not to study, my mother is like... well. i dunno. weird thinkings isnt it? they slog at home and when they come to school? they tell u not to study. i dun really bother or listen obviously, but that is not the main point. aargh... i just cannot describe anything... my mother expects us to stay at home all day and when my sister suggested some guitar lessons after her Os, she went "what for" again. she says that all the time that it is almost impossible to tell her anything. just a few days back, she was roaming thru my head and spotted about five white hairs tinged with some gold colour. her immediate response was to say "aiyo.. u've got to gai diao your bad temper." so i tried hinting to her, u know, maybe it is stress.... before i could really finish my sentence, she cut in, with a damning: u r just a kid, not an adult. what sort of stress can u possibly have? " said her. perhaps it is due to our large age gap. her teenage and student years are long behind her that she probably forgot what it is like to be a student. school life now is a lot different from her time man. i hope she realises that. all these competitiveness... everything. it's almost impossible to survive in our country if one does not have a university cert. haiz, reality is harsh. some people can have everything in the world, majority just do not have the luxury.

ok, that was shiok. i love writing stuffs like that, even though when other people read it, they will be like "huh, what was that?" hehe. never mind, i admit, it was crappy. :D but it's fact lah. cant help it. anyway, i witnessed a really competitive business ground a few days back while we were purchasing our new computer. all the different companies selling computers there tried all sorts of ways to get customers to buy their products. there was one company which offered my father a free thumbdrive if he purchases their computer, when he found out that two companies were selling the exact product. so, my dad, being the person he is, went back to the previous person to see if he could get any better offer. bravo! there was a $50 discount. HAHA. i bet if he went to and fro these two companies, at the end, he would have gotten more discounts. but time wasnt at our hands so we chose our computer and went off. hmm. what a learning experience, letting us have a glimpse of what it is like in the working world. sometimes, they will resort to sucking up i suppose, like how one of them kept referring to my father as "boss" when he patronised their "stall" (or whatever u call them at the expo.). hmm, i think our new computer looks pretty nice... hehe.. it's like, huge.. 19 inches. and it's been a long time since i last saw colour on our computer screen. bye bye old computer, you have served us well during your seven year span in our house and we wish u all the best in your next journey.

my birthday is coming, but that's nothing special. i'm pretty sian of this kinda stuffs already.. the only thing good is that there will be a few presents.. :) maybe. it's early september now, two years since my gran passed on. and the surprising thing was, i dreamt of her quite recently. it's a little hard to describe dreams but was she trying to convey a message to me? i still get creeped out how two years ago when she was showing some signs of suffering from stroke, she looked at me(or whoever was near me) and shouted: "mai kua! mai kua! (dun see)" .. was she trying to tell me something??

aiya.. i want the 2530 de xing fu cd!! but i doubt we will be so lucky as to be among the ten % to get it... :(

oh ya, we got back PPR. damn disappointing. i worked hard for this term!!! haiz.

SOMETIMES, HARD WORK JUST DOES NOT PAY OFF....